The Weight of Endless Possibillities

 Do you know the memes about people with good grades, great social life and lots of sleep?
Right know, I am that person, except I became this on the behalf of my screen time. Which I think as someone once interested in alchemy is a rather good trade :D. I do miss blogging, but honestly, I have no motivation.
Not only when it comes to blogging, but also writing, drawing, and everything I considered a hobby. Except for crocheting, looks like I can´t live without this. 
I think it´s because of the admission exams. I have a dream school, FAMU in Prague, and I had a dream major, Screenwriting, but I didn´t get in. I was also shooting my chance at Production, which was happy choice. I got through tests and I had an interview as the last part of this process this Wednesday. I will write about this more, later, but I don´t want to get too far from the reasons I haven´t updated in few weeks :D. 
I spent nearly all of my winter holidays either learning for exams, or drinking my troubles away. I have been partying a lot lately, but I think it will calm down. My best friend run out of money, so I will probably slow down, too. We had last big clubbing event on Friday, which I didn´t really enjoy, and I had a bar night with my friends from school and three guys I befriended in the last two months.
Me, Eliška, and Ida are kind of a core when it comes to bar nights. I am usually one to plan it and to search for people, and I love how those two always want to show up. They can´t always make it, but I know I can ask the out and I will be met with enthusiasm :D. They even went to bowling birthday party I planned for another friend, wich meant a lot for me, since I reserved an alley in Karviná and they are from the opposite part of this region. 
I enjoyed this night much more, maybe it was because I felt more comfortable with my own friends, or because I was the one in charge. I did my best to rush us to all three of our usual bars, and I think we will do something similar next weekend. The only trouble is that the last bus from Ostrava to my hometown goes at 23:08, and the first around 4am. I would party till this time, but right now, it´s too cold. We tried this once with Petra, but it didn´t work out too well, partly because it´s freezing.
I´m little bit scared, right now. It´s hard to get to FAMU, I think this year the ratio of applied/got in is going to be around 130/15 for Production and 130/5 for Screenwriting. So of course I need a safety net. 
That is going to be UPOL, again, of the big schools here in Czech Republic. It´s located in Olomouc, which I consider as a lolita capital for the Czech community. It´s also lovely city, I like how it combines big-city energy with small-town coziness. And I will try out for few other schools, too, it´s just bit weird. I know I want to work in the film industry since like my sophomore year, but I´m only now realazing that there isn´t any easy way. No school can guarantee me a job, but it can at least introduce me to the right people or give right experiences. This is a life making choice and I hope it will be the right one. 

Also, I finally bought and read first Sandman. It´s so amazing it made me change the direction of my semester's final art project :D. 
I feel a lot better noe than in last few weeks, so I think I will continue with more articles. I always have phases when I am normal, and then I go completely numb, in a nihilistic kind of way. At those moments, I wouldn´t really care if I won a million USD or if I got hit by a bus. It usually also mirrors in my relationship with lolita. 
Right know, I fell good and I want to wear EGL coord for the first time this year to school, so see you soon :).