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- How lolita has changed me
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If anything made me change my entire life, it was definitelly lolita. And there was a lot to change, as I found out about it in ...14 years? around that age, and I had my punk phase, my favorite one to talk about, as being angsty artist dressed as a homeless guy was one of the funniest things in my life. I kinda miss those days.
I was scared of trying to do anything with my appearance, I felt ugly, my acne was at it´s worst, and I still didn´t want to accept my body. And for some reason, I wanted to look like someone who does not care about it. Fine, this doesn't sound like a good time.
Then I saw an old Czech blog, Vše o lolita módě, and I knew this is it. Love more instant than Kaufland ramen noodles. My change wasn´t fast, but slowly, I started to treat myself better. I knew I can´t get the clothes right now, and I would feel weird in it; they are just for pretty people, aren´t they?
So, the only way to get into the fashion right now was to look pretty.
I slowly started to learn about proper hair and skin care, which definitely helped with my confidence. I became extroverted social butterfly friendly person.
Once I started to feel better, I also wanted to dress better. I don´t have a lot of photos, but when I say my punk phase, don´t imagine Siouxie punk, rather Anything I can get in this small town punk. It wasn´t cool, an it definitelly didn´t suit me.
I finally absorbed the knowledge of sizing, learned how to dress my figure and again, became more comfortable in my own skin. I can´t tell when I first looked at mirror and felt accomplishment, but it was great.
Then I forgot about lolita for two years, I still didn't think I will wear it, but I dressed prettier. I also worked out regularly, and I still do, which made clothing look better on me, as my body finally got some shape.
Now, everyone can look good even without working out, and skin products, but it also gives me good feeling, which is even better than muscles and clear skin.
I finally accepted my feminity, and this is probably the best thing that ever happened to me.
As for change in other ways, I found part time job because of it. Always during summer, I have no time because of school :D. And it is impossible to find anything here. It helped me to mature and prepared me for living outside of mama hotel.
Did lolita change me in a negative way?
I don´t think so. Like, maybe I may seem arrogant sometimes, but my confidence isn´t built at lolita, so I can´t link this together. And this attidute is suprisingly good for gyaru, so I don´t think about it as a negative at all :D.
Maybe I became too much of a "barbie"? Wallflower-prep, if you want? I used to never mind getting some dirt on me, and didn´t have to have a shower everyday, but now just thinking about this makes me nausious.
Well, and I spend more on clothing and accessories now, so it changed my bank account negatively xD. Hapilly I still live with my parents, so I have nothing better to spend my money on.
Bye dear friends!
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